March 31, 2025, marks the 16th annual International Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV) – a day created by Rachel Crandall-Crocker to recognize and celebrate transgender and non-binary people. A day to make them and the challenges they face visible.

But in this new political reality, I’m having complicated feelings about visibility. Being visible feels increasingly unsafe, because it seems that the people who see me can only do so through a finely crafted and distorted ideological lens, warping me into a thing that is easy to hate. Under this magnifying glass, I feel too visible to the wrong people, and invisible to the people I thought were allies. It seems that while some see my trans-ness but not my humanity, others see my humanity but not my trans-ness.

This year, more than ever, we need the people who see all of us and support us to make themselves more visible. We cannot afford to assume who our allies truly are.

It isn’t as hard as you might think. Recently, I had a meaningful conversation with someone at work who wanted to know how they could be more supportive. They seemed a bit apologetic in their tone as they expressed their uncertainty about how to be an ally, but they were already being an ally. I told them that they were doing just that by having a conversation with me in which they listened and validated my feelings, instead of well meaning but invalidating responses such as “you probably just misunderstood”, or “well, at least…”, and my favorite: when a cis person says, “I understand exactly how you feel.” I can assure you: You do not.

This TDOV (and always!) you can celebrate transgender and nonbinary people just by letting them know you are there for them, you see them, support them, and remember that sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is just be with them and listen without trying to make the difficult feelings go away. 

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Johnny Wells (he, him, his) is an Integrative Therapist at Omaha Integrative Care. You can schedule an appointment with him by calling us at 402-934-1617.